obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am naked and annoyed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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