Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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