I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
