Quick, to the slutcave!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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