I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
