Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize