I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
