Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
