Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
