Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
