i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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