i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
