we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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