Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
