just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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