Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
