I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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