You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
