I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
