oh god the rape fog is back!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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