Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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