but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
