Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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