return my video game
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
