I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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