Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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