I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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