I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize