Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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