Sponge bath it is.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
