I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
