Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
