I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
