She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize