So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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