Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
