For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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