I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize