i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
