You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
