I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
