You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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