whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
