Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
