I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
