we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
