It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
