Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
