9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
