weddingsv make me drug and hornr
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
