Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
