Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
