This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
