I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
