we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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