Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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