Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
