dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
