i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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