no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
