Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
