Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize