i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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