I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
