I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize