We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
