so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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